In which our hero abandons his aspirations for journalistic legitimacy

I've changed my mind and want her for my birthday.
I Want To Sing is the single sexiest song of all time.  Fuck Barry White, I'm talkin' Regina.

Shut up you guys.  I just wrote a fourteen hundred word essay ripping on one of my favourite bands.  Give me a break.

I want to take a fuckin' bath.

PS Send Regina.